I'm running, I'm gunning
I started humming something you used to sing when
you were around
Please believe me and please don't leave me
because I don't think that I could live without you
No that's a lie, I'm living just fine.
And you've already left,
and the past is behind me,
and I don't even worry
and I don't even care
but I'm still running to get far from here
Why would you make it up for awhile,
when you were worse off than you could've been
I punched my first into a wall
and it bleed
and I cried
and it bled and I cried
Now all of my functions aren't working together
My heart and my brain are being run by my member
I'm running from the past that's far behind
and Im moving towards things that are slightly less frightening
is it less frighting, if these things keep repeating
If these mistakes I keep making don't seem to be teaching
I'm prepared in advance for this weakness I'm seeking
And I've written down rules that I plan on breaking
Know in advance that anything I do wrong does not
deserve forgiveness
Please just punch me in the face until I bleed,
and I cry
and I bleed and i cry and i cry and i cry and i cry
These actions,
These mistakes that I make
are fueled by my adventure
and my need for attention
It's a disaster that's waiting to unfold,
but I need the excitement and I need to dabble
with the unforetold.
Are these motions, or am I motionless?
Hopeless
I'm just trying to find my way home,
but these ideas like loneliness and depression
creep into my soul
And I feel sick and I feel uninvited and I feel
restless, lost, and i try to fight it
But I just can't fight it.
No matter how hard I try
And i wanna go home
And i wanna know what home is
I don't care if its a person a place or a pill
that I can digest
I'll eat as many as I can
But I've questioned too many things to accept the
theories given to me by people who seem to have found
what I'm looking for,
that seem to sleep the whole night through
But what has it gotten me, all this curiosity
All these things that make me feel like there's
no one else in the world,
but I know that there is
And I know I shouldn't feel lonely, or depressed,
but its hard to be stable
when I just can't grasp the things that seem to keep
you happy and motivated, charming, but not exasperated
How do you push on,
How do you keep working,
How can I motivate myself to be happy
when I've seen the happiness life is bringing you
But I can't do things the same as you
I want to feel what you feel,
but there's a line I can't cross
Sacrificing my morals is not worth the cost
So i'll take loneliness because I'm not alone
and I know one day I'll find my way home.